Last Entry: Experiences: April 15, 2013

Sunday, January 9, 2011

Six Years of Intensive Healing and Change Begin

By the end of 2003, my "migraine" symptoms were increasing again. I felt like I was on the edge of having an episode all the time, with the occasional shooting stars that would cross my field of vision. Although I had been able to handle multiple tasks with ease, I was now having trouble keeping focused on just one of the many projects that I was involved with at work. Work, therefore, became very frustrating. I felt scattered, unable to pull details together, and unable to fully keep track of what was happening within the individual projects that I worked on. You would have thought that this would be affecting my ability to hold onto my job, but because I usually far exceeded peoples expectations, not much notice was given to the deficits that I was experiencing.

But, I realized that I needed to seek help with whatever was happening with me. Since I felt that the conventional neurologist didn't offer me any help back in 1996, I knew that I needed to look elsewhere. Thus, I sought care that I always wanted to experience but had never tried before. I made an appointment with a naturopathic physician.

With the naturopath, I discovered that I was borderline diabetic and worked on radically changing my diet. Also, although I don't have any food allergies, I found out that I do have several food sensitivities, which are substances that my body thinks are poisons. Most of these sensitivities were in the wheat and sugar categories and included: clams, lentils, goat's milk, cheddar cheese, wheat flour, wheat bran, sprouted wheat, barley, oats, refined sugar, molasses, honey, maple syrup, rice syrup, date sugar, stevia, watermelon, MSG, nitrates, benzoic acid, oregano, nutmeg, beer, white wine, and sugar with dairy (ice cream).

Within the next 6-8 months, I lost nearly 50 pounds and my symptoms seemed to reduce some, but they weren't going away. I then started to have a couple of unusual visual events. The first involved instances in which it seemed like large objects had moved when in fact they obviously had not. The second instance occurred while I was driving. In this case, I became suddenly nauseous and it appeared as if an earthquake was occurring. But, no earthquake was occurring and my visual experience disappeared within seconds.

These experiences led my naturopath to suggest that I see a chiropractic neurologist that she was hearing good things about. So, in October of 2004, as my condition began to worsen, I was introduced to a different type of neurological investigation, which would have a huge impact upon regaining a resemblance of my normal functioning.

Leave of Absence Requested

At the end of 2000, work had become an extremely stressful place. The computer system that I worked on was being upgraded and improved from a mainframe hierarchical to a PC object relations based application. Having been trained in the PC world, rather that the mainframe world, I was especially ready for this change. Others, however, were not so ready to make the switch.

I began to feel like all the stress of the workplace was being dumped on me, but I didn't know what to do about it. One person told me that I needed to protect my energy field, which I understood but had no idea how to do that.

So, I ended up requesting two months off. Since I happened to be in between projects, my request was granted. I took leave during November and December of 2000. I came back refreshed and in a better state than I had left, but still had no understanding of energy fields and how I might protect myself in the future. My co-workers, however, were cognizant of my reasons for taking leave and seemed to be more sensitive to what I was experiencing.

Sunday, January 2, 2011

Soul Communication?

In 2000, I started to have some new and interesting energetic experiences. As I sat silently with a friend, I had the sensations of an ongoing conversation. I couldn't hear the words being said, but I could feel the information being passed between us in a vague sort of way. I believed that I was experiencing a subconscious conversation.

A few years later, however, I met someone that change my perspective on this experience. Upon meeting this person, the sensations that came to me were akin to meeting up with an old high school friend that I hadn’t seen in 20 years. It was like having an excited conversation about where we had been and what we had been learning about. This conversation also came with an overwhelming feeling of unconditional trust, as if it had already been earned.

Since I had never met this person before, it seemed like this conversation could only be related to a past life. Thus, I decided that these conversations must be from the soul, not the subconscious, because only the soul would know about a past life.

After having these energetic experiences, I was very curious about what they were all about, but I had a lot of fear in talking about them with anyone. So, I was left to simply observe and experience what was happening. These soul conversations seemed to continue and to expand, as I became able to sense the energetic presence of a person who was not physically in the room with me and who was likely several miles away. The experience of this energetic presence, however, was so great that I felt them physically and emotionally with me.

I continue to have a curiosity about these experiences today, but without the fear of discussing them. I have always wished for someone who would engage with me about them, with a particular interest in those who have had these experiences themselves. So, if you are out there reading this, I would really appreciate your perspective and experience...